Appreciation

Part of my appreciation of the world is born in his encouragement of me to “see;” in mine of him, to “look.”

I told you so

In 2000, I argued that condensing our understanding of voting patterns into two teams, red or blue, was a big mistake. After watching election results that year, I worried aloud that reductionist approaches would only further the political schism in the U.S. Our electoral decisions, after all, are not football scores. I recall asking you…

Unprecedented

A year like no other. So far out there. Wonder if we’ll ever get back to normal. It has been an amazing year, for sure. Emily, Mitchell, Erich, Zen, Laya, Jennifer, Jay, Liz, Erica, and Ira are all progressing in school. We met when they were undergrads,…

Chocolate Carrot Cake

While coming out as gay man 56 years ago is associated with lots of crap that happened back then and regularly since, coming out has never been the source of the crap itself. Coming out actually launched a world of good for me. At age 16, I got honest with my parents in ways that…

The right time

In the past couple years, I have noticed a shift among some friends when talking about the births of their babies — actually about babies they call theirs, like I call William mine, even though he is Patrick and Jason’s son. These babies are, as often as not, community babies, young people in whom many…

Getting it right

While shoveling snow from my driveway today, I had plenty of opportunity to reflect. The drive is long and wide and, even though I get it plowed by a service, getting it right can take me an extra hour. When I was about eight years old, I started shoveling snow for neighbors. By that point…

This is dedicated

Just this morning I asked a friend to listen to me for a time, uninterrupted. I needed to feel some things that have been rumbling within for weeks. We’ve been friends for about 25 years. We’ve been listening to each other regularly, taking turns as each other’s peer counselor for a decade or more. I…

Dear Gary

I have known for some time now that I am waiting for an apology. Initially, I felt I was being petty – unreasonable, perhaps. But lately I recognize that just because my expectation will not be met, it is not necessarily unreasonable. Perhaps the offender(s) just need some assistance. So, in the spirit of healing,…

Oral Sex

Back in the days when I worked at Planned Parenthood, I would joke that as a sex educator I was great at oral sex. In other words, I could talk about sex all day. I would sometimes tell teens that they should get better at oral sex, talking about it more and doing the deed…