He was thin – too thin – for any weather, but on the morning of New Year’s Eve Day, he shook under a Red Cross blanket, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, soggy socks, his feet pushed into yellow slides so small that the last three inches of his feet hung behind their soles. He had…
In 1967 or 1968, I started to become aware of the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolph Dreikurs, theory that would influence my work for decades to come. I learned about Parent Effectiveness Training and Teacher Effectiveness Training in small classrooms in Holton, Garland, Mitchell, and Pearse Halls. One of these classes positioned Adlerian theory…
First, I must clarify that ageing does NOT suck. So, when I hear people use expressions like, “Ageing sucks, but it’s better than the alternative,” I bristle. Second, death is not a failure of the dead nor is it some sort of awful alternative to be avoided at all costs. I cannot think of these…
A year like no other. So far out there. Wonder if we’ll ever get back to normal. It has been an amazing year, for sure. Emily, Mitchell, Erich, Zen, Laya, Jennifer, Jay, Liz, Erica, and Ira are all progressing in school. We met when they were undergrads,…
While coming out as gay man 56 years ago is associated with lots of crap that happened back then and regularly since, coming out has never been the source of the crap itself. Coming out actually launched a world of good for me. At age 16, I got honest with my parents in ways that…
Just this morning I asked a friend to listen to me for a time, uninterrupted. I needed to feel some things that have been rumbling within for weeks. We’ve been friends for about 25 years. We’ve been listening to each other regularly, taking turns as each other’s peer counselor for a decade or more. I…
I have known for some time now that I am waiting for an apology. Initially, I felt I was being petty – unreasonable, perhaps. But lately I recognize that just because my expectation will not be met, it is not necessarily unreasonable. Perhaps the offender(s) just need some assistance. So, in the spirit of healing,…
Back in the days when I worked at Planned Parenthood, I would joke that as a sex educator I was great at oral sex. In other words, I could talk about sex all day. I would sometimes tell teens that they should get better at oral sex, talking about it more and doing the deed…
Almost every adult has a story about young people. Positive at times, but more frequently negative, these stories are just that – our fictional representations of intelligent, loving, passionate humans trying to make life work well. Our stories about teens are a major problem. We wait for teens to make something of themselves but fail…
This week I am writing about giving and generosity. As the calendar year closes and a new year approaches, I often find that I review my actions and thoughts of the past several months. What have I done? Where did that notion originate? Did it advance me as a human? How? Why? One mental tool…
